


Apologies and Regrets

by MissHarold



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2015-08-06 13:21:58
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,714
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7949440/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3833688/MissHarold
Summary: Brian sleeps with Michael, and Justin catches them. He leaves for five years, then comes back. Will Brian try to get him? Or stay with Micheal. Brian is a little OOC.





	1. Chapter 1

_Brian's POV_

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I look up from the bed and I see it's Justin. I look at the person laying with me and it's Michael.

I stare at Justin till he moves. He goes toward the closet and I see him taking out a bag.

Oh no.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I say while grabbing his arm. He pulls away hard and continues packing. I make him turn toward me and I say again,

"What are you doing?"

"Really Brian? Michael. Of all people you had to sleep with Michael!"

"It didn't mean anything." I try to say for him to stay.

"You always say that! But he's your best friend!" his voice rising.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a drama queen you wouldn't have a problem!" my voice rising as well. Once those words leave my mouth I automatically regret it.

He stares at me with the look that I can't understand what it is? Anger? Hurt? Disappointment?

He looks back to his bag, zips up, and starts heading to the door.

Once I get over my initial shock and run over before he can leave.

"Where are you going?" I say trying not to sound desperate but I can't help it.

"Somewhere."

"Where?" I can't help it, I need to know.

"Brian, it doesn't matter. Don't even try to contact me." he had no emotion in his voice.

I am left speechless, while he walks out the door and probably my life.

Rage fills inside me, as I remember Michael is here.

I loudly walk over to the bedroom and wake Michael up and kick him out. After I close the door I grab the nearest thing to me, which is a bottle of Beam and throw it across the loft. I start throwing everything in sight, just to get it out.

Then it hits me that he left, and I start breaking down in the middle of the loft till all you can hear are my sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Brian's POV

I wake up in the middle of the loft, tear stains on my face, body aching from sleeping on the floor.

Then I hear someone knocking the door. After I don't do anything I hear a key unlocking the door. I sit up straighter thinking it might be Justin.

Then I see it Michael holding what looks like diner food and puts in on the counter. I get up to kick him out, but he starts talking before I can even get to him.

"Hey, why didn't you answer my phone calls?"

"Maybe there's a reason for that." I say hoping he'll get the hint.

"Oh, whatever." he goes to kiss me, but I back away. He tries to go again, this time I push him away.

"What's the matter, Honey?" he asks. I cringe.

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not? Is this because of Justin? I'm glad he's finally gone. Now we can be together." he goes to put his arms around me, but I slip away before he can catch me.

"What?" I say.

"That little twink was always in the way. Now that he's gone, we can finally be together. We made love last night. Can't you see? We're made for each other!" Michael says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"We didn't make love. We fucked. That's it." I say with no emotion.

"You don't mean that."

"But I do."

"No you don't! Is this because of Justin?"

"Yes! Because I love him!"

"What?" he says confused.

"I love Justin." the realization hits me and I go to get ready.

"Where are you going?"

"To get him back." with that I run out of the loft and head to Debbie's house.

-

On the way there, I go by the flower shop and pick up a dozen roses.

I get to Debbie's house put the car in park and head to the door.

I knock and see Debbie peek out the window. Her face lights up with the sight of the flowers then it automatically darkens. I quickly forget about that when she opens the door and all I can think about is Justin.

"Where is he? I need to speak to him!"

"Oh, honey." she says sadly. This can't be good.

She leads me to his room and opens the door. I walk inside and see it's completely empty.

"I'm going to give you a minute sweetie." she says then walks out, closing the door behind her.

Still in shock, I sit on the bed. And think of all the memories we had in here.

I look into the corner and see a t-shirt he must have left. And leave the flowers on the bed and walk over the get the shirt. I pick it up and smell it. It smells so much like him that I can feel the tears forming in the eyes. I put the shirt in my jacket and head out.

As I am walking out I look into the room and say

"We'll meet again Sunshine." then I leave. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

5 years later

Brian's POV

I wake and instantly put my hand on his side of the bed, hoping he's there, but for the last five years again it's nothing but cold sheet.

I get up and get ready for work and head to the diner. Before I go in I put on the mask I have been paying for years, trying to hide the hurt inside from Justin leaving.

I go inside and look for Debbie. And I see her talking to a familiar bright blond head. The hair is a bit longer, body more built, and clothes all designer. Other than that, I hold my breath when he turns towards me and smiles.

I am frozen to the spot, when his blue eyes catch my hazel ones. Then the next thing I know I'm walking toward him and he's getting off the seat to give me a hug.

While he's hugging me the world freezes. Everything seems right in the world again. Then he let's go and I see everybody is acting like nothing happened. But how could they act like that? Justin is back!

He leads us over to a booth in the corner and we start talking.

"So Brian? How have you been?"

"I have been good Sunshine, how about you?" I say trying to hide my desperation.

"Been good. Moved to New York, took the art world by storm now I'm back." like I don't already know this. I had a private investigator track down Justin a week after he left. And if you look the locked drawer in my desk you'll find hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles about him. And I have had people anonymously buy his art work for me. But nevertheless I act surprise.

"Oh, wow! So how long you in town?" I say nonchalantly.

"Actually I'm moving back."

With that sentence only, I feel like someone punched me in the gut and I can't breed. But I play it off and say,

"Well if your fee tonight, I would like to take you on a date. To Babylon."

"I would be happy to join you, meet you there?"

I nod my head, then he leans over and kisses me on the cheek, then leaves.

I'm screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Justin's POV

I see Brian right away when I enter Babylon. Just leaning over the bar, looking for prey. Five years older and he's still the hottest man I have ever seen.

I start walking over and he spots me and gives me a smirk. That will be the death of me someday. He holds his hand out to take, which I do and he leads me to the dance floor. He puts his hands on my hips and I put my arms around his neck. We start dancing like the old days, then we look into each others eyes then he leans in for a kiss. It seems innocent at first, but then the earth shatters beneath us.

We pull apart and he asks,

"Your place or mine?"

Still breathless I answer,

"Yours."

Then he head out toward the exit, while Michael stares dagger at me.

We get to the loft and its the exact same way as when I left it. But I barley notice because the moment we get in Brian pushes me against the door and kissing like our lives depend on it.

We into the bedroom and share something I will never forget.

Brian's POV

After were done I feel some weight get lifted off the bed. I look over and see Justin getting dressed. I can't help but ask,

"Where are you going?" I ask I little harsher than I should, but I really don't want him to leave.

"Where do you think I'm going?" he asks in the same tone.

"I thought you would stay with me."

"I don't think that will be happening anytime soon."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asks confused.

"This was a mistake."

"Don't say that."

"But I mean it."

"No, you don't!" I yelling now, "You don't mean that! It take two people to make love and if I'm not mistaken you were the other person. So take it back!" tears are threatening to fall out of my eyes.

"No. I have to go Brian. See you around."

All I can do is sit on the bed and hear him walking to the door opening it, then slamming it shut. Tears finally come out and I cry myself to sleep.

*Don't worry I will be updating later today on 3/27/12. Just having trouble about how to transition to the next part.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

_Justin's POV_

I walk out of the loft and exit the building. I'm on the sidewalk with no ride. I end up walking with tears streaming down my face. That was so hard for me to do. I know it was a little harsh, but I didnt want to get hurt again.

Looking down I bump into someone. Before I can say sorry, they grab me by the collar and push me into the alley. When my eyes clear I see its Micheal. He gets right in my face and says,

"Stay away from Brian! He doesn't want you here! Nobody does! And just leave us alone, we happy and in love, and your not gonna mess that up!"

Then he leaves me there just to cry in the alley.

_Brian's POV_

A few minutes after Justin left, I hear someone knocking on the door. I wipe my face and go to open. I see it's Michael, but before I can shut it, he pushes right in.

"What the fuck are you doing here Michael?"

"I was seeing if you wanted to go back to Babylon. We haven't hung out in such a long time." he whines. I hate it when he whines.

"Mikey, we hung out for a straight hour at Woody's before we went to Bablyon."

"Yeah, but we could have hung out some more if stupid Justin didn't lure you out of there."

"He didn't do anything." I say getting defensive.

"Yes he did Brian, can't you see he's just setting you up to break your heart again."

"Like I said he didn't do a thing!" my jaw tightens.

"Brian," he is starting to whine again, "can't you see, we're meant to be together, but everytime he gets in the way."

I grab his arm and go right into his face,

"Like I have been saying, if you haven't been listening for the last five years. That was one night, and one night only. We were never together and never will be. I don't love you that way! The only person I will love that way is Justin!"

"What?" he says totally confuses.

"Yes! Justin! He can break my heart a hundred times, but he can do that because it belongs to him!"

"No it doesn't!" Mikey pulls away and yells.

"Yes it does. And can I tell you a secret?"

"What?" he says like a little kid.

"I'm going to get him back."

Mickey gives me a look of pure disgust then leaves the loft, but before he does he looks back and says,

"You'll be sorry."

I don't think about it for long, because I go to bed thinking of way to get my Justin back.

*Sorry, of they're any mistakes, I used a different program.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

_3rd person POV_

During the week after having that little conversation with Michael, Brian sets out a plan to get Justin back. After hard thinking, he came up with the perfect plan, and started it with hopes it would work.

He goes to the flower shop and buys tons and tons of roses. While holding the roses it brings back memories of when Justin left him, but he had to put those thoughts aside for now, he'll talk to him about that later.

He went down to the best restaurant and bought dinner to go and pick up a bottle of the finest wine in Pittsburg and maybe even in Pennsylvania.

He went down to the loft and pick the flower petals by hand, even saying "he loves me, he loves me not" while doing it. And he was happy when it ended with 'he loves me'.

Brian scattered it all on the floor around a blanket topped with candles, dinner, and two glasses of wine. After it was all done, he called Debbie to get Justin over there.

_Justin's POV_

Since I had no where else to stay, I came to Debbie's and she welcomed me in with a giant bear hug. While working on a schedule, she came into my room and blindfolded me. I didn't fuss since I knew it was gonna be something good. She put me in a car and drove somewhere. I heard her open a door and get into an elevator. Then she knocked and I heard the loft door slide open.

Oh no! I could not be...

I never got to finsh my sentence, because I heard the loft door slam shut and someone take the blindfold off. Once my eyes focused I saw it was Brian. Then I look past him and saw everything. My jaw dropped to the floor. He picked it up and laid a tender kiss on my lips. When he pulled away he walk over to the stereo and put on a song. I knew it immediately.

He put his hand out for me to take and I did of course. As 'Save the Last Dance for Me' played we danced the same excact way we did at prom. Well I'm guessing since the memories still haven't really came back to me.

After the song ended he took me to floor, where I saw the whole picnic laid out. Then lifted the silver dome off one of the trays and I saw it was one of my favorite dishes. We sat down and ate.

_Brian's POV_

In the middle of the meal, Justin puts down his plate and looks at me. I put down my plate and said,

"What?"

"What is this all about Brian? The dancing, the roses, the picnic? Just tell me what you up to."

"I'm not up to anything." I say in Kinney fashion.

"Brian."

"I just wanted to show you that I'm worth taking a chance for. That I have changed. For you. And I would do anything for you to take me back." I practically plead.

"Brian," he sighs and gets up, I get up too. "What you did hurt me really bad, and I don't want to go through all that pain again."

"I understand, that's why I suggest taking it slow."

"Are you sure you're Brian Kinney?" he asks skeptical.

"Yes, and all yours."

"All mine?"

"All yours." I assure him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

_Brian's POV _

I go into the diner and look for a booth, hoping I won't run into Michael. Too late.

"Hey Brian! Over here!"

I go over to the booth, but I didn't sit down.

"Come on Brian! Sit down."

"Actually I'm waiting for someone." I explain to him.

"Oh, he can sit here too."

"No, I don't think that will be a good idea."

"Why not?"

Just as he says that, the diner bell rings. I look over and smile. But Michael scowls.

Justin walks over and put his arms around my waist and leans over for a kiss. Of course I lean over too and return the kiss. Then I remember we're in a diner and break away reluctantly.

I walk him over to the booth and as Justin goes to on the other side of the booth, but I go and pull him into my lap. I hear Mikey scoff and leave, but I barely notice because all I want is right in front of me.

_Justin's POV_

After we eat at the diner, we go to the loft to talk.

We open the door to get inside, but both of us are silent. So I break the silence first.

"What are you offering me?" I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I need to know.

"Love." he says.

"Brian, I'm serious."

"So am I."

I give a look.

He walks over to me and puts his arms around my waist and says,

"I offering you everything. Flowers, dates, monogamy."

My eyes widen in shock.

"Monogamy?"

"Yes, I don't want to share you with anybody else." he says while kissing neck and slowly shedding my clothes.

I kiss him and start shedding his clothes too.

"Then it's official, we're dating."

He smiles at me and leads me to the bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

_Brian's POV_

It's been a month since me and Justin having started 'dating'. And I know it seems like I'm good with this while monogamy thing, but I'm not. It kills me that I can't fuck anyone with Justin. Not even a measly threesome. I know it seems selfish, but I need my fix of sex. But I won't do that to Justin. I love him, and I will not hurt him again.

Tonight we decide to stay at the loft. Justin notices something is weird with me.

"Hey! Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." I try to convince him.

"You sure? You have just been acting weird this month."

"I just..."

"What?" he asks concerned.

"Nevermind. It's no big deal."

"Brian, if it's been bothering you this entire month, I would think it was something big."

"Well, it not!" I snap at Justin. He winces, and I regret it instantly.

He walks away from me and goes into the bathroom. I go in right after him, but I try to open the door and it's locked.

I knock on the door a couple, but don't push it. I decide to sit on the bed and wait it out.

An hour almost pasts till Justin comes out.

"Hey." I say getting up.

He walks past me and sits down on the bed where I was sitting. I sit next to him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"I'm okay with that. It's just that you won't tell me what's bothering you."

"I'm gonna be totally honest with you, whether you like it or not."

"That's what I've been asking for this entire time."

"Well, I know I've said I changed and stuff and that's entirely true, but some things haven't."

"Like what?" he asks.

"Well, it turns out that this monogamy thing isn't gonna work out for me." I admit.

After I say that Justin stares at me, for what seems like hours till he stands up, and is in front of me. He takes a deep breath and says,

"That's it? Are you serious? That's it? Brian! You could have told me that in the beginnning. That's actually what I was expecting from you. Gosh, I thought this was something serious." he laughs and hugs me.

I smile and say,

"Well let's go to Babylon and celebrate this new freedom."

With that we get ready and go to Babylon.

_Justin's POV_

I know I seemed okay with the whole not being monogamous anymore, but really it killed me. How could Brian do that. He basically said to my face that I'm not enough for him. Whatever though, I'll do anything to keep him happy.

So we get to Babylon, and its a Friday night so the place is packed. Once we enter, Brian leaves my side and gets a trick. Then he goes off the backroom. I feel a pang in my chest, but I ignore it. I quickly go to the bar where Ted, Emmett, and Michael are.

"Where's Brian?" Michael says whining.

"In the backroom." I say while ordering a shot of Beam.

"Oh, really? I thought you guys were being monogamous? Guess wonder boy isn't enough for him." he says basically rubbing it in my face.

I down the drink and look for a hot guy. I can't find one so I make my way onto the dance floor and start dancing by myself. Next thing I know there are like ten hot guys dancing around me. I pick one of them and go over to the backroom.

I see Brian getting sucked off by a trick, he doesn't seem to notice so I go across from him.

I start making out with the trick, when he starts pulling down my pants and tries to turn me around and I let him. He pulls my pants off and takes off his as well. He starts preparing me and I can't help myself, but I moan really loud. Next thing I know, I feel the guy pull away, and someone pulling up my pants. I turn around just in time to see Brian punch the guy square in the nose.

He turns back to me with anger in his eyes. He grabs my arm and pulls me out of the backroom. But not just out of the backroom. but the club. We go to the jeep, and get inside and drive to the loft in silence. We pull up to the building, get out of the car and go up to the loft. Brian opens the door and walks inside. When I get inside and close it, he has his back towards me. He turns around and says,

"What the hell were you thinking?"

I just give him a look of confusion. So he continues.

"You were just gonna let that guy fuck you?"

I am taken aback by what he says, but anger bulids inside as I process what he says,

"So you're saying you can trick, but I can't?"

"I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just know that I don't want to share you."

Even what he said is really sweet I'm still angry at him.

"Well, if you don't want me to trick neither can you."

He thinks for a while, then rushes up to me to give me one of the best kisses I have ever had.

"Deal."


	9. Chapter 9

*Author's Note* - Sorry guys I haven't updated in like a month. I just have been really busy with school and have been having a hard time with ideas, but now school is coming to an end and I am gonna have a lot more time to write and think and all that stuff so now here is chapter 9.

Chapter 9:

_Brian's POV_

It has been a week since that little incident and now me and Justin are stronger than ever. We're getting ready to head over to Debbie's for a Sunday dinner. Because we were a little busy in the shower doing something we arrive late and everybody is already there.

"It's about fucking time you guys got here!" Debbie yells when we walk through the door.

"Sorry, we were a little busy." I say as I kiss Justin's hair.

"God, don't make me barf." Michael says.

We sit down and have a nice dinner, then I excuse myself to have a smoke. While outside I hear the door open and turn around to see Justin. He sits next to me and puts his head on my shoulder. A sign that something is wrong.

"What happen?" I ask

"Nothing." he says, but I don't believe him.

"Sunshine, I can tell when you upset, now tell me."

"It's just that Micheal is getting on my nerves. He was giving me dirty looks the whole dinner. and frankly I've had enough of it." he says while standing up.

"Justin," I say while standing up too, "he just doesn't approve of our relationship. Everybody know that he's in love with me, but I can tell you right now that I will always pick you."

"Really?"

"Really." I say assuringly. Then I kiss him and we head inside.

Just as we are about to turn the corner into the kitchen I can hear all of them talking. And I am shocked at what I am hearing, and I can tell Justin is too.

From various voices we can hear,

"They're not gonna last."

"It's a one time thing."

"He hasn't changed."

"Poor Sunshine is just gonna get hurt again."

I turn the corner and all of them go silent.

"Is that all you think this is. A stupid one time thing. That I haven't changed? That I'm going to hurt him again? Well then fuck you all! I love him and I will never make that mistake of hurting him again."

They all just stare at me and I can't take it. I head to the door with Justin right behind me. We grab our coats and head out.

_Justin's POV_

As we are heading to the loft, I look at Brian's hands on the steering and his knuckles are turning white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.

I put a hand on his leg and he immediately relaxes.

Then we arrive at the loft and up.

Brian goes in the loft first, and starts pacing. Uh oh. That's not good.

I'm kind of afraid to approach him. So I stay at a distance and ask,

"What's wrong?"

He stops pacing and looks at me and says,

"It's them! They don't think we can last at all!"

I walk over to him and put my arms around his waist and say,

"You are Brian Kinney, when did you start caring?"

"I keep telling you that I've changed."

"And I believe you. But seriously who cares?"

"I just want to prove them wrong."

"How?" I ask.

Something seems to spark inside him and he lets go of me and heads to the bedroom. I head over there too and I see him packing bags.

"What are you doing?"

"No, the question should be where are we going? And we are going to Vermont."


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry you guys but this is the last chapter and its a long one. But don't worry I will be writing a lot more because it's my summer break. Yay!

Chapter 10:

_Justin's POV_

"Vermont?" I ask.

"Vermont." Brian assures me.

"Why Vermont?"

With that, Brian gets on one knee and looks me in the eyes.

"Justin, I have loved you ever since prom. And I haven't stopped at all. Even when I slept with Michael it was my buggest mistake, because it caused me to lose you. And I don't want to do that again. You have made me change and I don't regret it at all. So will you do the honor of marrying me?"

I look at him with tears in my eyes. He gets up and wipes them away. I nodd my head and say,

"Yes, of course I'll marry you!."

He picks me up and kisses me and leads me into the bedroom.

The next morning we get up and take a long shower before we go pack. After we're done packing, the car is waiting for us outside to take us to the airport. Once we get there, we board on the plane. After joining the mile high club, both me and Brian take a nap.

We land and a car is already waiting for us. We get to the hotel and take another nap. When I wake up it's the next day. There is breakfst at the end of my bed and Brian is on the phone looking out the window. I help myself to the breakfast.

Brian hangs up the phone and looks at me. I swallow my last bite and I ask him,

"Who was that?"

"I was just listening to the hundreds of messages asking us where we are."

"You didn't tell them?" I ask shocked. I thought everybody knew.

"Nope. This is out little secret."

I smile and shake my head at him. Then he asks me,

"You ready?"

I breathe in deeply and nodd my head. We go take a shower and get dressed in our suits. When we get down to the lobby and outside, yet another car in already there waiting for us to take us to the courthouse.

*Just a little note I have no idea what the actual process is to get married in a courthouse so right now I'm just guessing.*

We get inside and check in with the receptionist and go into the room. When get in the room the judge is already there.

We stand in front of her and she says a bunch of stuff, but I can barely pay attention to her because right now I'm about to marry the man of my dreams, Brian Kinney. Then I realize Brian is saying something to me and I snap back to reality. We have to put the rings on each other. Then he wants me to sign some paper. And bam! We're married.

He grabs my waist and I put my arms on his shoulders then we kiss like it was the end of the world. Before it can get to far we get too far we pull away and thank the judge and exit the building and go straight to the hotel. And we spend the rest of the day love-making.

I wake up and find that I'm snuggled up to Brian. I don't want to move, but we have a flight later and I want to be able to catch it. So I wake Brian up and we have room service bring us breakfast. Then we head to the airport to go home.

_Brian's POV_

When we get home, I check the answering machine to find messages from everyone. We take a nap and then head to the diner for lunch.

We walk in and everybody is there. Oh great!

Debbie spots us first and runs over to give Justin a bear hug and slaps me on the back of my head. While she hugging him I past by the gang and find an empty booth. But they all follow me there. Justin sits down next to me then all the questions come at us.

"Where were you?"

"Where have you been?"

"Why were you guys gone?"

"What happened?"

Then the biggest question of all asked by Debbie.

"Why are you guys wearing rings?"

I have my tougue in my cheek, while Justin stays silent looking down at his lap.

It's Lindsay who gets it first.

"You guys went to Vermont and got married!"

Everybody is frozen for a split second then they all congratulate us. Hugs and kisses everywhere. Except from one person. Michael.

Emmett asks,

"What's wrong Mikey? Aren't you happy?"

He gets up from his sit and the next thing you know he pulls Justin out of the booth punches him and when hes one the ground straddles him and continutes puching him while repeating,

"Brian is mine. We were suppose to be together. You ruined everything."

I get up from my seat grab Michael by the collar and push him against the wall. I get up right into his face and say,

"We were never together Michael, never have, never will be. I love Justin, when will you get that through your fucking head! And if you touch my husband one more time, I will kill you myself. "

I drop him and he runs out the diner.

I look down and see Debbie nursing Sunshine who has a busted lip and bloody nose. I kneel down and grab the towel from Deb and start wiping him myself.

"You okay?" I ask him concerned.

"Yeah, I've had worse."

"Well I'm pretty sure he won't be back for a while."

"I'm sorry. I ruined your friendship and..."

Before he can say anything else I shut him up with a kiss.

"Come on, let's go home."

He nodds and gets up with my help and we walk out with our arms wrapped around each other, and take a stroll down Liberty Avenue.


End file.
